The Failed Plans of Knives
by Nick's Derringer Girl
Summary: Waht happened to the Gung-Ho Guns BEFORE the series? What OTHER evil schemes did they come up with? Read to find out! (Oh, yeah we could use some support: aka reviews)
1. The Thought of the Manatees

DISCLAIMER:

NDG: We no own. (mad)

DK: Exactly! (happy)

Haiku: Yup! (equally happy)

-

NDG: Finally! We have re-vised it made it better!

DK: Uh-huh.

NDG: It's BETTER! REALLY!

DK: Uh-huh.

NDG: SOUND more CONVINCING!

DK: Um... UH-HUH!

Haiku: We have a lost cause here! Can't you see it?

NDG -and- DK: Uh-HUH!

Haiku: He-he-he! We STOLE Spike's (Spike is pronounced: speek-A) J-Pop CD! BWAHAHAHAHA! evil laugh.

-

_**The Failed Plans of Knives**_

By: NDG, DK, Haiku

"Legato! Get over here! I have a new plan!" Knives bellowed. (Wowie! Bellowed! One of DK's vocabulary words!)

"Yes, Mastah?" Legato asked monotonously.

"The plan is to attack humans with something that is in their speicies name— manatees!" Knives said proudly. (get it? Humanity-manatee? No... oh-well...)

"Mastah? What's a manatee?" Legato asked curiously.

"A wild beast!" Knives said.

"Really?" Legato asked.

"Yes." Knives replied.

"Where will we find one of these?" Legato inquired. (ANOTHER vocab. word! Good job DK! dk: SHUT UP!)

"In the Underground Aquarium, of course!" said Knives.

"We have an underground aquarium?" Legato asked curiously.

"Of COURSE!" Knives said, rather loudly.

"Yes Mastah." Legato said for no apparent reason. "Shall we head there now?"

"Yes." Knives said and walked out of the room and towards a door marked- ONLY FOOLISH BEINGS WILL ENTER, AND ONCE THEY DO THEY WILL NEVER EVER COME OUT AGAIN-.

"But I thought that I wasn't allowed in that room, Mastah?" Legato ACTUALLY looked sort of frightened at this. "Won't whoever put up the sign kill me?"

"Legato, sigh I put up the sign."

"Oh, okay, Mastah. As you wish." And with that they went in, Knives excited, Legato curious.

-

DK: Sooooo... Whaddya think?

Haiku: Is it any good?

NDG: ANSWER US! WE COMMAND YOU!


	2. The Party That Knives TOTALLY Crashed!

DISCLAIMER:

NDG: We don't own Trigun.

Dk: But I DO own a manatee! (BIG SMILE)

NDG: (sweatdrop) Um… No, you don't.

DK: Yeah… I do! (Pets a random manatee)

NDG: (Totally freaked out)

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_So… They enter the Super-Secret-Underground-Aquarium-That-Nobody-Does-…-And/Or-Ever-Will-Know-About. But… as they begin to walk down the stairs they hear loud BOOM-BOOM-CICHKA-CHICKA-BOOM-BOOM-ish noises…_

_(Earlier that day… ) Downstairs… in the_ _Super-Secret-Underground-Aquarium-That-Nobody-Does-…-And/Or-Ever-Will-Know-About:_

"Rockin' party idea, Nick!" said Midvalley

"Thanks! Good job getting it together!" Wolfwood exclaimed as he offered up his hand for a high-five. "Hey… check this out!" He says as he tosses some potato chips into a giant well-illumanated tank. A shark then comes out of seemilgly nowhere and chomps on the few chips."On the side of the tank it says: Great White Shark; CON-IV-OR-US ?What does that spell…" Wolfwood asked with a confused look on his face.

"Um… conivorus?" Midvalley stated.

"Heh… Yeah, I knew that! And then it says: Great for killing humans. How wonderful." Wolfwood said with slight sarcasm in his tone.

"But…" Midvalley began, "They DO look pretty cool! And they DO have big jaws… So let's keep em'!"

"Okay. But… Come over and check out these lumps." Wolfwood said, pointing to some manatees. "IOt says here: Slow-moving, gentle kind, sea-cows… Called manatees. And it says: Herbivirous. Keep away from Master Knives and Vash. Well, I guess that these are Legato's cheat notes. So… LET'S FLUSH EM'!

"Wolfwood… Seirously… There isn't a toilet big enough on all of Gunsmoke…" Midvalley said while rolling his eyes.

"Oh, yeah! Well then… Let's get this party STARTED!" He exclaimed enthusiastically.

"Who'd you invite? I invited all the Gung-Ho's, Legato excluded." Midvalley said matter-of-factly.

"I… invited some friends… Vash, Milly, Meryl, Brad, Niel,-" Wolfwood began, but was cut off when Midvalley said, "Great! Now this party will get stooooopid! You invited all of the people that I WASN'T gonna!" Midvalley groaned.

_Back to now… Legato and Knives are walking down the stairs in the Super-Secret-Underground-Aquarium-That-Nobody-Does-…-And/Or-Ever-Will-Know-About. AND they are almost there. As soon as Knives reaches the bottom and sees the mess he BLOWS UP!_

"JUST WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS! ALL OF THE SPIDERS--- LEAVE IMMEADITALLY!"

_And that was pretty much the end of the party._

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NDG: Well... That's all that we got now... SORRY!1

DK: We PROMISEEEEEEEE! More on Wedsday!


	3. Plan 1

DISCLAIMER:

NDG: Nope.

DK: We don't own Trigun… And we probably never will.

NDG: So much for that expression, 'high hopes'.

DK: High hopes are good! (pets manatee that accidentally crushes him) Ow! A little help here! Please? Gen? It's not funny! Help!

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_After the party-mess was all cleaned up, Midvalley and Wolfwood went back upstairs to see what Knives's problem was…_

"What's _his problem_?" Midvalley asked Wolfwood.

"I don't know… Maybe he was just upset 'cause he wasn't invited. You never know what'll set some people off." Wolfwood replied, confident that his reasoning was correct. "Hey! I got an idea! Let's go and ask him!"

"Okay!"

_With that they set off to find Knives._

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_An hour later they finally decided to check the message board. On it there were all kinds of sticky-post-it notes… mostly because Zazie lost control of his pet sandworms, and no one was all that happy. But, luckily there was a big blue one that read: _**Meeting in the Conference Room at 5:00 pm. BE THERE. **_So they figured to pay a visit to the Conference Room at 4:30… Which was in, like, three minutes._

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_Walking into the room, they looked around at all of the evil plans. And saw Legato, who was napping in the corner…_

"Hey, 'Gato!" Midvalley called. "Why is Knives so mad at us? Is he just pissed because we forgot to invite him?"

Legato awakened from his nap and just sleepily said, "Go away."

"Um… How about an answer first?" Wolfwood asked cautiously.

"He's not mad… just slightly pissed because he wasn't invited, yet his brother was. He'll get over it. Just act normal at the meeting tonight. Listen, pay attention, and answer questions… Also… agree with it all… no matter how stupid His plan sounds." Legato said monotonously.

"What if his plan is ridiculous?" Wolfwood asked, but Legato was already back asleep, so the two took their assigned seats in the Conference room and waited for the others to arrive.

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"And now I will show you all my master plan!" Knives said, trying his best to sound ingenious. He walks over to the closet and pulls out a poster-board with pictures of monkeys on it. "Whoops! Wrong one! You _never_ saw that… _or else!_" He cries and then pulls out one that has pictures on it that nobody, except for Wolfwood and Midvalley, recognize, because they are MANATEES!"

"As you can plainly see… we can make these normally subtle beings attack humans if we just put radio collars on them!" He continued. "With these large animals on our side… we'll be able to OVERTHORW HUMANITY! BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Any questions, before I assign your jobs?"

With that, Wolfwood raises his hand… "But the sign in the Super-Secret-Underground-Aquarium-That-Nobody-Does-…-And/Or-Ever-Will-Know-About says that they aren't vicious at all…" His point is solid, but Knives refuses the explanation, and with a wave of his hand, dismisses it.

"So are _sandworms_… yet they, too, can easily be controlled and contained, unless someone _steps on the remote control!_" Knives then thundered in response. "The training of the manatees starts TOMORROW at 5:30 a.m. _SHARP!"_

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NDG: Well, whaddya think, all?

DK: Good? Bad? Manatee! (DK runs over to a big hole in Gen's basement and trys to see where his manatee wobbled off to…


	4. The Horrible Job part 1

DISCLAIMER: We own nothing except the plan...

Gen: Welcome back, once again!

DK: (cries) My manatee got run over by a car! WAAAAAHHHHH!

Gen: (sighs) For the MILLIONTH TIME… The ONLY thing that was hurt was the car!

DK: Ohyeah! (smiles and runs off) Kikuchi! Where'd you go now?

Gen: (sweatdrop) He's an idiot… Oh, and Legato fan girls, be warned, I like Legato too, but in this chapter I make some fun of him 'cause he's just _too_ easy to pick on! lol

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_It's 5:30 in the morning, and every Gung-Ho Gun is assembled in the _Super-Secret-Underground-Aquarium-That-Nobody-Does-…-And/Or-Ever-Will-Know-About _waiting to see what they're jobs will be…_

"These," Knives points to a tank of manatees, "are manatees." _No one seems the least bit impressed, except for the suck-up Legato. _"Moving on…" Knives says as he points to various people and assigns them their jobs. "Rei-Dae, you will fit the manatees with the collars. Monev will assist you. Dominique, you will be in charge of the food, and Zazie will feed them. Legato will control the collars. When the batteries need to be changed, that will be up to Chapel. Grey will monitor the chemical changes in the tank's water, and Leonav, and Hoopered will change the chemicals. E. G. will research them, and Cain will act as an antenna to make the computer work. Any questions?"

_Midvalley raise his hand._

"Yes?" Knives causally asks.

"You forgot to give me and Wolfwood jobs…?" Midvalley says.

"I suppose I did… Well, you two can just clean out the tanks!" Knives retorted sarcastically.

"Joy," Wolfwood muttered and Knives shot him a look that could've put daggers through metal…

"He, um… means joyous! We are soooooo happy for our job! Hahaha… hah?"

"Good then, _enjoy_!" Knives coolly replied. And then he said, "Get to work."

_The area suddenly becomes abuzz with people running every which way while trying to complete Knives's orders, and not mess anyone else up in the process…_

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Gen: That's all for now! More soon!

DK: I love you!

Gen: REALY?

DK: No! Not _you_ Kikuchi!

Gen: Who's that?

DK: My manatee!

Gen: Whatever… Bye, everyone!

DK: Hey, EVERYBODY! ... PET THE MANATEE!

Kikuchi: (makes cute-but-disturbing manateenoises and flops around on the floor…)


End file.
